


Consortium

by zsomeone



Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Forced Marriage, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-03
Updated: 2010-01-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 20:12:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3501359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zsomeone/pseuds/zsomeone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Dethklok is deemed dangerous by the government, Toki and Skwisgaar are facing deportation. (Because they’re foreigners, of course.) However, Charles has a solution to prevent this, if he can get everyone to agree.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For my own purposes, I am inventing some laws and altering or ignoring some others. So don’t bother with the “That’s wrong” comments. Also, is Charles affected by “my” laws, or does he really know better and is just being an asshole? Either way works, it’s your choice.

It was common knowledge (within the band at least) that Toki and Skwisgaar had a ‘secret’ relationship going on. As long as they kept it private, nobody cared.   
Skwisgaar still fucked a lot of women, that really hadn’t changed. Toki probably did too, but he’d always been a lot more private about it so nobody really knew for sure.   
They acted the same as always in public, often even completely ignoring each other, but it wasn’t uncommon for them to share a bedroom.

This had caused some minor speculation between the other band members, of course, but they couldn’t care about it all that much. Caring wasn’t metal, you see.  
It didn’t really surprise them that Skwisgaar would fuck Toki, he was a legendary man whore anyway. But it was a little surprising that Toki would let him.   
But they weren’t going to care. As long as they both continued to play their parts and didn’t fuck up the band, they could do whatever the hell they wanted in their spare time.

But things were about to get more complicated.  
They had been ignoring the news for the most part, so it wasn’t until Charles called a meeting that they became aware of the potential problems.  
They were actually paying attention for a change. The manager was distressed, that alone was enough to make them focus. He didn’t get upset like this, not ever.  
“Guys, we may have serious problems. I’m working as hard as I can to find every possible solution, but it may not be enough this time. Have any of you been watching the news?”

The news? Why? They all shook their heads.  
“You all have been deemed a threat by the United States government. Three of you are US citizens so there’s really nothing they can do to you, but it’s Skwisgaar and Toki that I’m worried about.”  
Skwisgaar looked up in confusion. “Whats? We ams nots de citizens? But we has been here for years!”  
“It doesn’t work that way, I’m afraid you’re both still citizens of your native countries.”  
“Dat ams dildos.”

Trying to move on, Charles continued. “Let me explain what this governmental proclamation could mean. Skwisgaar and Toki, you both could be deported and banned from ever reentering the United States. We don’t know yet if this is the case, but I will let you know as soon as I find out for sure. However, if deportation orders are given, we will have very little time to take preventive measures.”  
He paused to see if anybody had questions, but it seemed they were all rendered temporarily speechless.  
“Very well, that’s all for now. I’ll let you know as soon as an official decision is reached.”

That night, Toki was sitting on Skwisgaar’s bed. “I don’ts want to get deported! I wants to stay here, in Dethklok!”  
“Calms down Toki. De butler will fixes it, dat ams what we pay hims for.” Skwisgaar crawled under his blanket. “Stops worryings and comes in here.”  
Toki obeyed, snuggling close. “We coulds lose everything we has. _Everything_.”  
“Evens if we does, you ams not goings to lose me. Okays? We ams in dis together.”  
That still left a lot of stuff to worry about. Toki sighed, and squeezed Skwisgaar tighter.

****

A week later, the news was in and another meeting was called.   
A very unhappy Charles was pacing at the head of the table, everything he’d tried to do to prevent this had failed. “We have the official word. Sadly, Skwisgaar and Toki have been given one week to go back to their home countries or be removed by force.”  
Skwisgaar was taking this news stoically, Toki looked near tears.  
“I’ve researched every option, and there’s only one way to prevent this now. You’ll have to get married.”

“We never even tinks about dat, but ja, I tink I can be handlings it.”  
Toki nodded his consent as well. If that was what it took...  
Charles shook his head. “You misunderstand me. You can’t marry each other, that wouldn’t help your situation at all. You need to marry Americans, that will guarantee your citizenship. Truly, it’s the only way.”  
Nathan was thinking, and rather hard too. “But like, wouldn’t whoever they marry own part of Dethklok then?”

Charles nodded, surprised that Nathan had thought that up himself. “Yes indeed, which means the only way to keep everything as it is would be for them to marry two of you.”  
Pickles raised his hand. “I’ll do it. I’ll do it fer tha band.”  
“Very well. Nathan, Murderface, who else wants to volunteer?”  
“That’sch way too gay! Schorry guysch, it was nice knowing you.” Murderface’s homophobia had kicked into high gear.  
“Fine, I’ll do it. I’m NOT fucking losing half my band!” 

“Heh, so we’re gittin’ married. When?”  
“There’s a three day delay, so if we get the paperwork done now, in three days. I just need to know who’s marrying who.”  
Oh, that _was_ a good question. They looked at each other in confusion. Nobody spoke.  
Charles had very critical paperwork to file, he couldn’t wait all day for this decision. “Would you prefer that I just pick?” They nodded gratefully. “Very well, we’ll go by height: Nathan and Skwisgaar, and Toki and Pickles.”

This was met with quiet acceptance.   
Murderface was suddenly feeling left out. “Hey, I wanna be involved in schome way!”  
“You can be the best man, for both- _all_ of them. Will that do?”  
“Yesch it will. I’ve alwaysch wanted to be the bescht man.”  
“Okay, I need the four of you to stop by my office in about twenty minutes to sign the papers, and we’ll be good to go.”  
The meeting was adjourned.

****

They were in Toki’s bed that night. It was hard to believe that in only a few days they’d be married, and to other people.   
It didn’t sound like that big of a deal, they’d been told that nobody had to change their name or wear a ring.  
Just repeat some words in front of a preacher-guy (who would likely be killed once the paperwork was filed) and continue living as they always had.  
They could handle that.

Nathan and Pickles were sitting in the hot tub together, drinking and discussing their future... uh, they had no idea how to think of them. Charles had talked to them more and separately, making sure they were aware of what they agreed to. He’d explained that the marriages needed to be consummated (and then defined that word for them) in order to be legal. It was likely that the authorities would suspect an arrangement such as this, and would likely administer lie detector tests to verify the legality of it all.

Pickles was indifferent, he planned to just get drunk. Although he didn’t ever talk about it, he’d done it before, a long time ago.  
Nathan was now thinking that Charles should have chosen the other way around. There was no way in hell he was going to let Skwisgaar stick a dick up his ass, and fully expected to fight about it. He supposed he could fuck Skwisgaar if he had to, he could _almost_ pass for a flat-chested chick. Well, from the back anyway. Pickles would probably be just as happy, if not happier, to take it. But it was too late now, the papers were filed.

His train of thought was interrupted when Pickles asked a very good question. “Do ya think they even know they gatta have sex with us?”  
“Whoa. That’s a good question, I have no idea.”  
Pickles had apparently been thinking similar thoughts. “He chose wrong. How tha hell am I ‘possed ta compare ta _Skwisgaar_? Thet’s jest naught fair.”  
“Yeah, it probably would have been better the other way around. Oh well.”  
Out of things to say, they continued drinking in silence.

****

Charles had been very busy, busier than usual. All the paperwork was done, the plans were made, and two rooms in a very private and very discreet hotel were reserved. He knew the consummating part was likely to be awkward, and a different location would most likely be helpful.  
Now it was time, so they were on their way. They’d insisted on taking separate vehicles, and Murderface had gone ahead with Nathan and Pickles.  
Charles was riding with Toki and Skwisgaar, wanting to make sure they fully understood what was expected of them.

Although they never did it in the Haus (at least never around other people) they were clinging together.  
“...Now once the marriages are consummated-“  
“What does dat means?”  
Charles barley stopped himself from smacking his own head. _How_ could he have overlooked this detail? Too late now. “I’m sorry, I thought you understood. You have to have sex with them to make it legal, it’s called consummating. That’s why you’re all staying in the hotel tonight.”

Toki stared at him in alarm. “We has to have _sexes_ with them?! Why didn’ts you tells us this before?!”  
“Ja, dis ams a good ting to be knowings about.”  
Throwing up his hands, Charles tried to explain. “Look, I know you both sleep with other people, so it shouldn’t be any big deal. If you want to stay then you have no choice, so just do it.”  
“Well at least we can gets divorces.”  
“No. To become citizens, you have to stay married for one year. After that you can do whatever the hell you want. Now pull yourselves together, we’re here.”

Parking at the secret VIP entrance, they went in.   
The others were waiting, and harassing the nervous looking preacher-guy for fun. Pickles (the little freak) had gotten a veil from somewhere and was wearing it with his regular clothes. Murderface was wearing his horrible suit-with-shorts ensemble, and Nathan was just in his normal clothes.  
Skwisgaar suddenly wished he hadn’t dug out one of his old white shirts for this, he’d forgotten that it was a bride color here. Too late now.  
Toki was dressed exactly as he always was.

It was time, so they lined up in front to the preacher-guy. Skwisgaar and Nathan, Murderface, then Toki and Pickles. Charles took a seat behind them. Weddings made him emotional, not that he’d let it show.  
They all looked nervous except Pickles, he just looked drunk. And of course Murderface, who was smugly _not_ marrying a guy.  
The preacher-guy kept the ceremony short and to the point, as he had been instructed to do. Very soon it was over, and they were married.  
It was clear that the reality hadn’t hit them yet, but it was about to.

After leaving the preacher-guy with some Klokateers (they had their instructions), Charles ushered them up to their rooms. He’d placed them on the same floor, but several rooms apart.  
They stopped at the first door, and Nathan went it.  
Skwisgaar started to follow, but Toki grabbed his arm. “Waits. I don’t think I can does this.”  
“You cans, you has to. Dis ams de only way.” Then, for the first time in front of the others, he kissed him.   
Without another word, Skwisgaar went into the room and shut the door.

Pickles patted Toki’s shoulder. “Cahm on, it’s gonna be okie.”  
They went down the hall to their room, and Toki wandered in. Charles stopped Pickles to issue a last-minute instruction. “Stay sober enough to consummate, you can’t pass a lie detector if you don’t remember the act.”  
With a nod, Pickles went into the room.  
Charles and Murderface headed out, it was out of their hands now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newly married, they still need to consummate to make it official. And they do.

In their room, Nathan was surprised at how okay Skwisgaar seemed to be with this situation. He knew the man _was_ a slut, but still. “Let’s get one thing straight right now, okay? I’m fucking you.”  
“Ja, dat’s fine. You wants to be doing it now, or waits until laters?”  
 _Fine?_ That’s all he was going to say? He wasn’t going to bitch and complain? “Uh, I think I want to drink some first.”  
Knowing that a minibar to Dethklok would be like band-aids to a grenade victim, Charles had ordered the rooms stocked with a large supply of alcohol. That was nice of him.  
They selected bottles of their choice and, sitting on the couch, went to work.

Nathan was unsure how to proceed. He wasn’t into men, and Skwisgaar was definitely a man. Yet somehow, he had to have sex with him.  
Fortunately, Skwisgaar was prepared. With his back to Nathan, he began to undress. The shirt hid no surprises, but under the pants...  
He was wearing a white thong. A man’s thong, but from the back it could be either, he had a nice ass and he knew it. As the pants slipped lower, he was also wearing white thigh-high sheer stockings. He’d worn this as a surprise, expecting to be with Toki tonight, but Nathan didn’t need to know that.

Glancing over his shoulder to make sure Nathan was watching, Skwisgaar sauntered over to the bed and lay on his stomach, waving his feet in the air. He noted the large bottle of lube that had been provided sitting on the night stand.  
The hose were a great distraction. Laying like that, with his hair masking the breadth of his shoulders, he could pass for female. Although he hated being called a lady, he wasn’t against using it to his advantage.   
That was good enough for Nathan, maybe this would be fun after all. He got up and moved to the bed too.

He started with the legs, not yet ready to touch Skwisgaar’s bare flesh, stroking them. Women rarely wore these anymore, and he missed the slick feel of them. Of course, all he would have to do is say that publically and every groupie would have them on, but that would be no fun.  
Damn, Skwisgaar had really nice legs.  
Growing more comfortable, he dared to run his hand over that bare butt.  
Skwisgaar just waited, letting Nathan choose the pace. Toki had been hesitant at first too, he knew how to be patient.

Nathan poked him in the thigh with a finger. “Hey. I know I’m supposed to like, stretch you or something, but I don’t really know what to do.”  
Skwisgaar pushed himself up. “Okays, I ams goings to makes dis _real_ easies for you.” He grabbed the lube and went into the bathroom, closing the door.  
Slightly confused but relieved, Nathan sat on the bed, waiting to see what happened next.  
Skwisgaar wasn’t in there long, and when he came out he’d lost the thong but was still wearing the stockings. “Nathans, takes off your clothes.”

Nathan obeyed, and had his pants already halfway off when Skwisgaar grabbed his cock and slathered it with lube. The suddenness was surprising, but the move made sense.  
Skwisgaar crawled back onto the bed, staying on his hands and knees this time. He knew he looked the most feminine in this position.  
It seemed that Nathan agreed, because he was much less hesitant now. Crawling into position, he paused again. “Uh, Skwisgaar?”  
“Jus does it, I ams readies.”

Encouraged, Nathan pressed forward, sliding in much easier than he’d expected. Although his mind was still a bit confused, his body thought this was a great idea. Skwisgaar clearly knew what he was doing.   
Nathan quit thinking and just went with it, surprised when Skwisgaar urged him to be even rougher. “You’ve done this before, haven’t you?”  
“Ja I has, don’t be sounding so surprises.”

Nathan was getting into it. He was always afraid to be too rough with his women, he always worried about hurting them. But Skwisgaar was different, he didn’t feel fragile at all, he felt like he could take it.  
Pushing him harder, Nathan waited for complaints but got only encouragement. That was impressive.  
He was no small guy, so that meant that Toki must be pretty hung. Ugh, thinking about Toki’s dick wasn’t helping him here. He put that thought out of his mind.

He was surprised when Skwisgaar came, he could feel it. Kind of like with a chick actually, not quite the same, but similar anyway.  
Was he supposed to pull out? Was Skwisgaar supposed to tell him, or was he supposed to ask?  
Deciding that since he hadn’t been told to he wouldn’t, and unable to hold back any longer, Nathan finished as well.  
Skwisgaar eased off of him, sprawling on the bed with a satisfied smirk.  
Nathan lay down next to him, hoping he wasn’t supposed to cuddle or something.

****

Meanwhile in the other room, things weren’t going as smoothly.  
Pickles had headed straight for the alcohol, ‘sober enough to remember’ was still really far from sober. Toki joined him, sitting on the couch and seeming less than enthusiastic about this whole ordeal.   
“Well Toki, we might as well git it straight now. Do ya wanna be on top or bottom, ‘cause I can go either way.”  
“I don’ts do the bottoms thing.”  
Choking on his drink in shock, Pickles stared at him. “Ya mean... We all thought...”  
“You thinks Skwisgaar fucks me, I knows that. But noes, I’s not one of his sluts.”

“Heh, well I’m cool with takin’ tha bottom, thet way I don’t even have ta worry ‘bout whiskey dick or anything’.”  
Toki took another drink. “I’s sorries Pickle. I knows I has to fucks you, but I just don’ts want to.”  
“Cahm on Toki, it’s naught thet bad.”  
“Skwisgaar’s the only guy I’s ever been with.” He kept drinking. Being drunk should help, at least he hoped it would.

Pickles had an idea. Rooting around in his bag, he found the sleep mask he liked to use. It was large and well-fitted, it could double as a blindfold. “Okie Toki, I’m gonna put this on ya an’ then I’m gonna touch ya. If ya can’t see, it should be easier.”  
Toki shrugged, but accepted it. Sitting back, he felt Pickles undo his pants.  
It was a good plan, but these particular pants were too tight for his purposes. Urging Toki to lift his hips, Pickles slid them down.

Did Toki normally wear underwear? He had no idea, but he wasn’t wearing them today.  
Pickles realized that Toki was too tense, and patted his knee. “Toki, ya know we’ve gata do this. What’s tha matter?”  
“Does you think they’s doing it?”  
“Prab’ly alreedy have at least once, knowin’ those two. Don’t think ‘bout it.”  
“Oh fucks Pickle, we’re _marrieds_!”  
“Yep, we sure are. But look on the bright side, I don’t care if ya cheat on me, ‘cause I’m sure as hell gonna cheat on you.”

Pickles took off his clothes. “Okie, here’s tha deal: We’re doin’ this fer tha band. I don’t wanna rape ya, but we’re gonna fuck an’ we’re doin’ it now. Ya might as well try ta enjoy it.”   
Toki nodded, and felt Pickles’ hands on him, running over his body. Okay, he could do this, he had to. He heard the snap of a lid, then a hand full of wet cold was stroking him as Pickles applied the lube. Toki knew how this worked, he knew what he should be doing, but he remained still. Pickles had said he would handle it, so that’s what he would let him do. He’d probably done it before.

Climbing into Toki’s lap, Pickles positioned himself and slid down in one smooth move. He’d obviously stretched himself a bit to be able to accomplish that.  
Pickles rode him quite happily, and with a fair amount of energy. Leaning down he tried for a kiss but Toki pulled back.  
“Cahm’on Toki, I know I’m naught Skwisgaar, but I’m naught _thet_ bad.”  
“Pickle, just shuts the fuck up and keeps doing that.”

Giving up, Pickles obeyed. He had no idea if Toki was trying to pretend that he was Skwisgaar or a chick, but it didn’t matter.  
Well, not much anyway, he would have preferred to be the focus but he could at least understand.   
It had been a while, but he still remembered how this worked. He kept silent as requested, riding Toki hard, taking care of himself at the same time. He watched Toki’s face closely, using his reactions to judge the necessary pace.  
It wasn’t too long before he was successful, mission accomplished.

Afterwards, Toki pulled his pants back on, and Pickles put on his underwear. They moved to the bed, because Pickles insisted that they needed to sleep together.  
It was a large bed, but Toki curled up close to the edge, facing the wall. Pickles sprawled out on the other side of the bed. “Hey Toki?”  
“What, Pickle?”  
“Thet was tha only time we _have_ to fuck, but if you wanna do it again, you jest let me know. Alreet?”  
“I understands, but don’ts count on it.”

Pickles had been thinking. “Toki? Yer naught even bisexual are ya? It’s jest Skwisgaar, isn’t it?”  
He rolled over to face him. “I don’ts know.”  
“Well, do ya ever want to fuck any of tha male groupies?”  
“Noes. Why woulds I wants that?”  
“Ya wouldn’t, I suppose.” It made more sense now. “Thet’s okie, we don’t have ta do anythin’ else. We’re still friends, raight?”  
“Ja. Pickle? Are yous bisexual?”

Pickles considered lying, but decided to just tell the truth. “I used ta be, but naught rally anymore. Yer tha first guy I’ve been with in a _long_ time. Skwisgaar knows, we tawlked ‘bout it once, but I’ve never actually said it to anyone else.”  
“So Skwisgaar is too?”  
“Well yeah, how could ya naught know thet?” He noticed Toki’s expression. “Ah hell, ya thought it was jest you?  
“Fucks. I’s stupid, aren’t I?”  
“No, yer jest a decent guy. Try ta go ta sleep.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interviews with the government officials, and problems between Toki and Skwisgaar.

Charles picked them up the next day, and after confirming that they had done their part, briefed them on what to expect. “As you may remember, tomorrow is the day when they expect to deport you two. I will present them with the paperwork, and then there will be interviews and likely lie detector tests. Murderface and myself will be included in this as well, since we were witnesses.”  
Yeah, whatever. They all nodded to indicate they understood.  
Nobody felt much like talking, and soon they were home.

The day passed, and that evening Nathan and Pickles found themselves alone in the hot tub. They were drinking as usual and it wasn’t long before curiosity had them asking questions.  
“So, uh, how was Toki? Any good, or has Skwisgaar worn him out already?”  
“Well, he didn’t rally want ta do it, but he was okie. An’ I let him do me. Skwisgaar give ya any trouble?”  
“No, I was surprised. It was hard at first, but you know, he’s Skwisgaar. And it was pretty good. We um, did it twice.”

Pickles nodded thoughtfully. “But yer naught even inta guys. Would ya do it again?”  
“I know I’m not. I’m still not. But Skwisgaar... he just oozes sex or something, you just want to fuck him even if that’s not your thing. Am I even making sense?”  
“Eh, naught a whole lot, but I git yer meaning. Hell, I’d prab’ly do him if he ever asked me. And no, I’m naught inta thet anymore.  
“Oh. So you used to be? I was never sure.”  
“Yep... ancient history now.”

****

Toki was in his room, he’d mostly stayed there since they’d gotten home. This whole situation was messing with his head, but he didn’t know what to do about it.  
Eventually he just went to bed.  
Skwisgaar showed up not long after, crawling in bed with him just like nothing had changed. “Why didn’ts you comes to mine room?”  
Toki shrugged, allowing himself to be held but not responding.  
“You can’ts be mad at me, we had to do dis you knows.”

Finally Toki spoke. “I’s not your first guy, am I?"  
“I never says dat you was. Why woulds you even be tinking dat?”  
“Never mind, I’s just stupid. I thoughts we had something special.”  
“We does. What ams de big deals, we both sleeps wit other people. I don’t understands what you ams upset about.”  
“You really don’ts, does you?”

“Toki...” Skwisgaar pulled him closer and kissed him. Neither of them had ever used the word ‘love’, they just wouldn’t say that. Giving in, Toki kissed him back.  
This was Skwisgaar, his blond god. His greatest enemy and his best friend, his lover. Of course he’d fucked Nathan, he’d had no choice.  
Tomorrow they had to face all the questions, it was best to forget about all that for a while. When Skwisgaar stripped off what little they were wearing, Toki didn’t object.

****

The next day, the interrogation was going as hellaciously as Charles had expected.  
He had presented all the paperwork, and both he and Murderface had given their sworn statements. Now it was the newlyweds turn.  
They’d all be given lie detector tests, and interviewed in general.  
It was out of his hands now, they had to get through this one their own. He’d done everything he could for them, hopefully it would be enough.

Nathan and Skwisgaar looked pretty confident. That made sense, Nathan was determined to keep his band together at any cost, and Skwisgaar had a natural tendency to play up his part.  
Pickles looked fairly determined as well, but also concerned.   
And for good reason, Toki didn’t look very good at all. It was hard to tell if it was just the stress getting to him or what. Hopefully he would be able to keep it together and pass.  
The interviewer looked _extremely_ skeptical.

Skwisgaar took it as a challenge. He abandoned his chair, straddling Nathan’s lap and kissing him passionately. Nathan kissed back.  
Pickles took Toki’s hand, leaning close and whispering in his ear. “Toki, dude, keep it tagether. You know he’s jest puttin’ on an act. Cahm’on, ya can do it.”  
Toki nodded and squeezed his hand, focusing on Pickles to avoid looking at Skwisgaar.  
They all answered the questions.

Then they were separated and given the lie detector tests, the officials had brought four machines to test them all at once.  
In the background, Charles watched but didn’t interfere. He would know the results soon enough.  
It wasn’t a very long wait before an official went around checking the results, then approached him. “Well Mr. Ofdensen, I don’t know how you pulled this off but they all passed. Congratulations, we’ll file the paperwork for their citizenship, but I believe you know they stipulations.”  
“Indeed I do. Rest assured that it will all be done correctly.”

With that, the official people departed, slinking back to whatever official place they’d come from.  
It was over, they were safe, at least for now.   
So to celebrate, they all got drunk. It wasn’t very original, but it was... traditional at least. And following that tradition, they did it in the hot tub.  
That was fine at first, until Murderface made a dick move and opened his mouth. “Scho thisch muscht feel really weird now that you’ve all had schex with each other.”

Toki got up and left without a word. When nobody else moved, Pickles sighed and climbed out too. “Fine, I guess I’ll go tawlk ta him.”  
Murderface, his evil work done, decided to go to bed and left as well. It would be fun to stay and try to piss off either of the last two, but that would likely end in failure. It was better to quit on a victory.  
Nathan and Skwisgaar remained, still drinking.

Nathan had been wondering something, and was drunk enough to ask. “Hey. How come you didn’t argue with me about being on top? I expected you to.”  
“Nathans, dats not why I fucks guys. I can do dat wit de ladies, why would I wants do to dat wit you?”  
“But don’t you do it with Toki?”  
“No, Toki does it to me. Besides, he ams like you, nots into guys in generals.” Skwisgaar finished his drink and watched Nathan absorb all this.

“Yeah. I’m not into guys.” He considered. “But I’d do you again.”  
“Oh ja? Rights now?” He cocked an eyebrow suggestively.  
Nathan actually looked tempted. “But shouldn’t you be going after Toki? Or something?”  
Skwisgaar shook his head. “No, when he ams in dis mood it ams best to jus leaves him alones.” He turned, climbing into Nathan’s lap.  
“Whoa. I mean, yeah. But not here, let’s go to my room.”

****

Pickles had caught up with Toki near his room. “Toki, wait!”  
“Why dids you follows me, Pickle?”  
“I jest... I don’t know. Ya were upset, okie?” He made a decision. “Look, cahm with me.”  
Toki looked doubtful. “Whys? What’s we goings to do?”  
“We’re gonna smoke sahm weed an’ watch a movie. Fergit _all_ ‘bout this shit, what do ya say?”  
“What movie?”  
“Dude, it doesn’t matter. We’re naught gonna ‘member it when I’m through with us anyway.”

Fuck it, not thinking sounded pretty good right now. Toki nodded and followed Pickles to his room.  
The got comfortable on the bed (the only place to sit), and Pickles rolled two fat joints. He hated passing and waiting his turn, so this was just easier.  
Hitting play on his DVD player (whatever happened to be in there would do), and grabbing a couple lighters from the night stand, Pickles passed one to Toki and they both lit up.

“I’m naught sure how drunk ya are, but ya might wanna go easy on that or you’ll puke.”  
“I knows how this shit works, and I’s not that drunk. I wasn’t drinking that much, if yous noticed.”  
Pickles just shrugged, he really hadn’t been paying much attention.  
They smoked and watched the movie, whatever it was. (It had started partway through.) Toki was sinking lower by the minute.  
“Hey, ya can sleep here if ya want, I don’t mind.”  
Handing over the remains of his joint, Toki nodded gratefully and curled up.

****

Nathan and Skwisgaar were sprawled on Nathan’s bed, naked and sweaty.  
Unlike before, Nathan hadn’t even tried to pretend it was someone else. This time he was very aware of just who he’d been fucking, and was strangely okay with it.  
Besides, it didn’t count if you were drunk, if you were high... or if it was Skwisgaar. Yeah, new rule.  
He didn’t know if they were going to keep this up or not. They _were_ married, which was pretty weird in itself, and Skwisgaar said that Toki didn’t mind...

Hmm, about Toki... What was their relationship anyway? Having never asked, Nathan had no real idea. Maybe he should talk to him, just to make sure?  
But that would count as caring, so that was out.   
Skwisgaar could do whatever, _whoever_ the fuck he wanted. And if he kept this up, well, most of the time he wasn’t going to turn him down. Maybe later when the novelty wore off, but that probably wasn’t going to be anytime soon.  
But chicks still came first.

****

A few weeks passed.  
Skwisgaar stopped Toki after practice one day. “You never comes to mine room anymore.”  
“I dids once. You wasn’t there.”  
Crap, that must have been one of the nights he was with Nathan. Skwisgaar shrugged. “And you jus doesn’t come back?”  
Clearly, Skwisgaar didn’t get it at all. “Why’s you even care?”  
“Toki, I misses you. And when I comes to yous room, you acts like you ams not wanting me dere. Tells me what I ams supposed to does.”  
Toki just shook his head and walked out.

Later that evening, Skwisgaar was pacing the halls. If Toki was mad, he wouldn’t want his company. And he _was_ mad, wasn’t he?  
He’d gone to Nathan, but there were already a couple chicks there, and Nathan had refused to share when asked.  
Finally he decided to try Toki’s room, hoping he would be alone.  
And he was. “Skwisgaar? Why’s you here?”   
“Nathan kicks me out.” Oh shit, he knew that was the wrong thing to say as soon as he said it, but it was too late.

Toki was not amused. “So I’s your second choice anymore?”  
“No Toki, I didn’ts means it like dat!”  
“Get outs.”  
Skwisgaar made an attempt to change his mind, pulling close and caressing him, but Toki wasn’t having it tonight.  
“Get outs. I’s not in the mood, just goes away. I don’ts want to see you rights now.”  
With a sigh, he got up and obeyed.

Skwisgaar didn’t want to just give up, but he had no idea what to do. It was pretty obvious that Toki wasn’t going to tell him, so who could he ask for advice?  
The butler was supposed to fix all their problems, but no, not this one.  
Finally he realized that his best shot would be Pickles. Toki had been spending a lot of time with him lately, maybe he knew what was up. And he’d been in similar situations in the past, that could be helpful.

Pickles was in his room, alone. Skwisgaar went in and sat on the bed next to him. “You gots to be helping me, Pickle. Yous been talking to Toki a lots, what ams his problem?”  
“Ya don’t know? Seriously?”  
“If I knows, I wouldn’ts be sitting here askings you.”  
“Okie. Well, he didn’t even know yer bisexual, he thought he was tha only one. Now he thinks yer jest using him or sahmthin’, ya know?”

“But I never tells him dat! It ams not mine fault he tinks dat way, how ams I supposes to fix someting I didn’t even does?”  
Pickles shrugged. “Naught my prabhlem. Ya wanted ta know, I told ya.”  
Skwisgaar changed tactics. “If you cares about Toki, you will helps me.”  
“I _do_ care ‘bout him. But this is yer prabhlem, you gatta be tha one ta fix it. If ya even can, thet is.”  
Realizing he would get nothing else, Skwisgaar left, heading to his room to think.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months later, Skwisgaar STILL hasn’t figured anything out, and Charles finally intervenes.

Skwisgaar had tried several things to win Toki back, but never having pursued anyone before, he was really bad at it.  
Eventually he’d even tried candy and flowers, like in the movies. He’d felt really stupid, but thought it was worth a try. Toki had accepted them, but looked at him like he was crazy.  
Later that night, Skwisgaar had seen a girl leaving that wing with the flowers.  
He couldn’t be mad, that had been a stupid idea. Just what was Toki supposed to do with flowers anyway?

A few tries later, Skwisgaar simply gave up.  
There was little contact between them anymore, Toki seemed to avoid him when he had the choice.  
Maybe staying away would make things better? Nothing else had worked.  
He’d tried everything he could think of, and still Toki avoided him. Maybe it was just over, maybe it had even just been an experiment on Toki’s part.   
He didn’t like it, but he tried to accept it.

Practices had become oddly quiet, except for the sounds of their music. There was little conversation these days, now that Skwisgaar wasn’t criticizing Toki anymore.  
He _should_ be, Toki had been playing sloppier than ever lately, but he no longer felt he had the right to say anything.   
He missed the way things used to be.  
The others were aware of the tension, but nobody knew what to do about it.  
Even Murderface was behaving himself, not wanting to be blamed for causing problems.

And Skwisgaar was fucking Nathan again. He’d quit for a while, back when he was trying to fix things with Toki, but he’d gone back to it once he’d given up. There just seemed to be no good reason not to.  
Nathan didn’t mind. He still wasn’t into guys, just Skwisgaar. There was just something strangely sexy about him.  
It wasn’t and never would be a daily thing, and when it did happen, Nathan never let him stay and sleep there. It was just sex.

Toki had been spending more time with Pickles.  
He was trying to avoid Skwisgaar, and just wasn’t comfortable around Nathan anymore. He’d tried hanging out with Murderface, but that only made him more depressed.   
So Pickles it was.  
No, they weren’t doing anything sexual. Pickles wouldn’t have minded, but Toki didn’t want that. They just hung out, watched bad movies, and did some drugs or got drunk. Palling around stuff.

Toki had been experimenting with Pickles’ drug supply.  
It was amazing how much better some of them could make him feel, or at least how much less they could make him care.  
Now he understood why Pickles did them, it was just so much easier.  
He was being careful about it though, avoiding things like the coke. Pickles handled it fine, but Toki had witnessed Dr. Rockso’s fallout and wanted nothing to do with that sort of thing.

****

It was Knubbler, of all people, who finally brought the problems to Charles’ attention.  
Charles was sitting in his office doing his usual mountain of paperwork when the producer came in and took a seat. “Knubbler, what can I help you with?”  
Mechanical eyes glowed red, showing his displeasure. “I don’t know what the hell happened to them, but they’re sounding like crap lately. _You_ need to fix whatever the problem is if you want this album to get recorded this _year_.”

Concerned, none of them had come to _him_ for anything, he wanted to know more. “Tell me what you know.”  
“I _know_ that Toki’s playing has been really sloppy and Skwisgaar hasn’t said a word. I _know_ that when I told Skwisgaar to redo Toki’s tracks, he refused. The others seem a little off as well, but it’s mainly those two. We can’t record like this.”  
“I suppose I’ll have to call a band meeting then.”  
Knubbler nodded in agreement, and left the room. Charles started flipping through his appointment book looking for a good time slot.

****

A week later, they had the meeting after practice. Charles had made sure there was enough time to see them all individually as well, if that seemed necessary. They were waiting, looking at him with their usual bored contempt.  
“Knubbler tells me you’re all having some problems in the studio. Anybody want to explain this to me?”  
This was met with total silence, so he tried again. “Toki, he told me that you in particular are having more trouble.” He looked closer. “Are you high?”

“Ja, so whats.”  
“Well maybe you could try not being high during practice?”  
“Maybes you could tries nots being a fuckings robot.”  
Okay, this wasn’t typical for Toki, there was indeed something going on here. And who was giving him the drugs anyway? The most likely choices were Pickles or Rockso. “Pickles, are you giving him whatever he’s on?”  
“Yep. It’s jest drugs, nothin’ wrong with thet.”

Charles was going to say something else, but Toki beat him to it. “Leaves Pickle alone!”  
“Very well.” At least it wasn’t that clown. He looked around at them all. Skwisgaar wasn’t even looking at him, playing his guitar furiously with his head bowed. Yes, he was upset too. “Okay guys, does this have anything to do with your marriages?”  
More silence, but the answer was clear. “Murderface, you may go.”  
“Schrew that, I wanna watch.”  
It wasn’t worth fighting over, he’d hear it all anyway. “Fine, stay then.”

Murderface sat back and folded his arms, ready to enjoy the show he hoped would follow.  
Charles had decided where to start. “Nathan, do you know what’s causing the problem here?”  
“Uh, no?”  
“Make a guess.”  
“Um... Toki and Skwisgaar never hang out anymore? With each other?”  
That made sense. “Skwisgaar, why is that?”  
His fingers didn’t even pause. “He don’ts wants me around no more, he won’ts even be talking to me.”

“Ah, I see. Toki? Why is that?”  
“He knows why.” He was refusing too even look at Skwisgaar.  
The playing finally stopped. “No I _doesn’t_ , because you won’ts be telling me! I tries to be nice and you jus pushes me away! So fines, I goes away if dat ams making yous happy.”  
Toki jumped to his feet, leaning over the table threateningly. “Does I look like I’s fucking happy?!”  
Pickles grabbed him. “Cahn’on Toki, calm down dude.”  
Toki shook him off.

Charles waited, ready to stop them if things got out too of hand.   
Skwisgaar stood up too, and they faced each other across the table. “I don’ts know what you ams wanting froms me! I fucking tried, Toki, I fucking tried! You tells me to goes away!”  
“Ha! You tells me that I’s special, that I wouldn’ts lose you. Then you makes me you’s second choice! Fucks you Skwisgaar!”  
Charles decided that was enough. “Toki, Skwisgaar, please go to my office. The rest of you are dismissed.”

Toki turned without another word, heading down the hallway. Skwisgaar shrugged and followed, Charles right behind him. Maybe they could _finally_ settle this.  
In his office, they dropped into the chairs that he indicated, both still looking very hostile.  
“Okay guys, now what’s the problem?”  
Toki pointed. “He fucks Nathan.”  
“He had to, that was the requirement of-“  
“He’s STILL fuckings Nathan!”

Charles turned to Skwisgaar. “Is this true?”  
“Ja. What ams I supposed to does, _he_ ams not wantings me anymores! And so whats? We was never de exclusives!”  
“Only _goils_ , Skwisgaar! I didn’ts fuck other _guys_ , and I didn’ts think you dids either!”  
“Calm down you two.” Charles had heard enough. “I think the problem here is pretty clear. Now the question is, what are we going to do about it?”  
They were both looking at him questioningly. Was it possible that they really didn’t even realize it?

“It’s obvious to me that you two are, or at least _were_ , in love.” They tried to interrupt, but he waved them silent and continued. “Toki, you’re clearly jealous, and Skwisgaar, you simply have the emotional maturity roughly equal to that of a gnat.”  
“We’s NOT in loves!”  
“Ja, dat ams so not metal!”  
Charles shrugged. “Well, call it whatever you like then. Look, I’m going to lock you two in here together so nobody can run away. Try to work this out without killing each other.”  
With that he left, locking the door behind him.

Alone together for the first time in a long time, they faced each other cautiously.  
Skwisgaar didn’t know if he dared to even hope. “Toki?”  
Toki didn’t answer, he didn’t know what to think. Skwisgaar was looking at him like he used to... but he just couldn’t trust that anymore. Going over to the manager’s couch, he sat down and dropped his head in his hands.  
Skwisgaar hesitated, then moved to join him.

Toki felt the additional weight settle, and leaned away.   
Not knowing what to do, Skwisgaar just sat there. He wanted to reach out, but didn’t think it would be accepted.  
The butler had said that Toki was jealous, was that really all it was? Could it be that simple? Nathan was fun, but he would give him up in an instant if that made things alright again.  
Nathan was just sex, Toki was... something else.

Toki held still, this closeness was almost painful. He missed him so much, but didn’t dare trust him. Wanted to give in, but couldn’t.  
The minutes stretched out.  
Skwisgaar was so close. They were so alone.  
He couldn’t move, couldn’t even look up.  
How long before the manager came back and let them leave?

The couch shifted as Skwisgaar stood up, and his footsteps moved away.  
Cautiously lifting his head, Toki turned to see.  
Skwisgaar was standing in front of the window, looking out. The setting sun outlined him in fire, and he was beautiful.   
Toki wanted so badly to go to him, but he couldn’t do it, couldn’t make himself move.  
The silence between them had become a heavy thing, too huge to break.

After what felt like forever, the manager returned.  
Charles noted their stiff silences, clearly his plan had failed. Something had to be done here, but he was out of ideas for the moment. “I see you’re still not talking. Well, for the record, I tried.”  
He stood aside as Skwisgaar stalked past him. Had he been _crying_?  
While he was still trying to process that, Toki got up and went by him as well, turning in the opposite direction.

Sitting at his desk, Charles tried to think of a plan.   
He should have know this wouldn’t work, they both had far too much stubborn pride to give in that easy. He’d been hoping Toki would crack, but whatever the hell drugs he was on had probably given him an advantage.  
There had to be a solution, he just had to figure out what.  
This needed fixed, and soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recording is put on hold as the band attempts to deal with their problems. A couple more months pass as Charles searches for a solution, and he’s finally down to his very last resort.

Charles had given up researching therapy options, it just looked impossible. Because of the marriages, he could hardly bring in a counselor for Toki and Skwisgaar, they weren’t officially supposed to even be together.  
Twinkletits was acceptable, he was technically still under contract, but they had simply refused to meet with him.  
Recording had been put on hold two months ago after his own failed intervention attempt, and now Charles was down to his last option that he could see.

Nathan was confused when Charles asked to speak to him privately, but met him in his office.  
Charles had decided to just jump right in. “Nathan, as you know I’ve been trying to resolve the problem between Toki and Skwisgaar, but I’ve had no luck. However, I have reason to believe that you might be able to do better.”  
“Me? Uh, why?”  
“Because they listen to you. Because you’ve actually been in a relationship and have experience.”  
“Yeah, well look how that turned out.”

“Nathan, please. It either that or find some new guitarists, because this isn’t working.”  
“I know it isn’t! It’s just... What if I just make everything worse? Or something? I’m not good at handling important stuff.”  
“That’s nonsense.” Charles had seen Nathan’s bookkeeping attempts, and it wasn’t a bad job. “Please just try. Talk to them or-“

The phone rang.  
Seeing who it was (the immigration officials), Charles put it on speaker phone so Nathan could hear too. It was easier than repeating everything, and yes, he would ask. “Hello?”  
“Good day Mr. Ofdensen, I’m calling from the Immigration Bureau. We just need to verify that those questionable marriage that you pulled on us are still doing well. May I suggest a public outing?”  
Charles was going to make some excuse, but Nathan spoke first.

“Hey. This is Nathan Explosion.”  
“Hello Mr. Explosion, I was just saying-“  
“I heard you. And I think it’s like, a good idea. Yeah.”  
Charles had no idea what Nathan was doing, but he _had_ asked him to handle things... so he waited, listening.  
“There’s this new hotel we’ve been wanting to check out. So we’re gonna go stay there, uh, next week I think.” He looked to Charles, who nodded. “Yeah. We’ll see you then.”  
Before they could reply, Nathan ended the call.

Charles looked at him expectantly. “Well, I assume you have a plan then?”  
“Uh, no. Not really. I’m kinda making this up as I go.”  
“Very well. So I should book you this hotel then?”  
“Yeah. And make it those rooms with a door in the middle!”  
What the hell? “...a door in the middle? _Oh_ , you mean adjoining rooms. Yes, I can do that.”  
Still thinking, Nathan wandered out.  
Charles called the hotel and made the necessary arrangements.

****

When Skwisgaar came to Nathan’s room, he was surprised. There were scented candles and other stuff tonight, it looked special.  
Nathan saw his expression and laughed. “Don’t get too excited, they’re not for you. I got company coming.”  
“Fines, I goes away den.”  
“Uh-uh. Get your ass in here, I want to talk to you.” He patted the bed beside him.  
Having no idea what to expect, Skwisgaar obeyed.

“Do you want Toki back?”  
“It doesn’ts matter becauses-”  
“I asked if you want him back. Simple question. Do you?”  
Skwisgaar sighed. “Ja I does, but he ams not wanting me anymores.”  
“Okay. Now listen to what I’m going to tell you, so if you get the chance you won’t fuck it up.”  
Somewhat confused, Skwisgaar listened.

“First, if you get the chance, don’t fuck him. Got that?”  
That made no sense at all. “Why’s not? And what if he ams wanting to?”  
“Then you turn him down. I’m serious, just do it. He probably thinks that’s all you ever, you know, wanted him for. You’ll have to prove that’s not true.”  
“For how longs? Assuming dis even works, dat is.”  
“Uh, I don’t know? That’s the one part nobody ever figures out.” He checked the time. “Now get out of here, they should be here soon. “

****

Nathan finally had a plan. It was a very stupid plan, but that was why it just might work. He’d decided not to tell Pickles, he didn’t always keep his mouth shut when he was drinking, and he was always drinking.  
Tonight the four of them would stay in that hotel.  
Hopefully by morning, everything would be alright again. Hopefully.  
Charles had only asked if he had a plan, not what it was.

The limo ride to the hotel was silent. No one could see in, so there was no need to act at this point.  
When they got there though, that was a different story. The press was waiting to see the ‘happy couples’, and they had to make it up to their rooms.  
The stupid press followed, and security couldn’t run them off until the hotel room doors closed in their faces.  
It would be nice when they didn’t have to put up with this shit anymore.

Once inside the room, Nathan banged on the door between them. “Hey guys! Open up!”  
Pickles unlocked their side. “Ya can’t have my booze.”  
“I don’t need your booze, there’s plenty over here too. And there’s a hot tub on this side, you two get your asses in here.”  
Pickles looked at Toki, who just shrugged, and they went into the other room.  
There was indeed a hot tub in there, a full size one. That was pretty strange for a hotel room.

Skwisgaar was already sitting in it, a drink nearby. Nathan stripped to his underwear and climbed in too.  
Pickles selected several bottle and set them in easy reach, then stripped down and got in too.  
With a shrug, Toki grabbed a bottle for himself and joined them, sitting across from Skwisgaar.  
Nathan sunk lower, enjoying the hot water. “Well this is easy, all we have to do is act happy when we leave in the morning. We should like, play some games.”  
Pickles nodded. “Ooh... drinkin’ games.”

“No, dumbass. I mean like, uh... let’s play Truth or Dare.”  
“Gawd, are we in middle school now?”  
“Shut up Pickles.” Nathan could see the others didn’t know what is was, so he explained. “It’s a game. When it’s your turn, you pick one. Then you either have to answer a question or do whatever you get dared to do. And once you pick you can’t change your mind!”  
Pickles raised his bottle. “Ask me. I’ll do ‘em both ta show how it’s done.”

That sounded like a good idea. “Okay Pickles, truth or dare?”  
“Truth.”  
“Did you ever shoot heroin into your sack?”  
“No I did naught, jest in my arm. Ask me again.”  
“Yeah. I’ll just dare you. I uh, dare you to moon the reporters from the balcony.”  
Pickles climbed out with a drunken grin.  
“HEY! Remember to use the other balcony!”

Pickles nodded, wandering through the doorway. Soon they could faintly see the flashes of the reporter’s cameras in the windows.  
Coming back and getting back in the water, Pickles pointed. “Hey Skwisgaar, truth or dare?”  
“Truth?”  
“Okie, is is true thet ya fuck old ladies ‘cause ya rally wanna sleep with dead people?”  
“Whats?! No!”  
“Whoa, you think Skwisgaar’s a necrophiliac? That’s fucked up.”  
“It was jest a question.”

Nathan turned. “Toki. Truth or dare.” Would he fall for it, would he pick right?   
Toki thought about it. He didn’t want to copy Skwisgaar, even if that meant mooning people. “Dare.”  
Yes! Suppressing his grin with all his might, Nathan pointed. “I dare you to kiss Skwisgaar.”  
“Whats?!”  
“Dude, ya picked dare, ya gatta do it now!”  
Toki gave them both dirty looks, but moved to sit next to Skwisgaar. Nathan scooted over to give him room.

Toki kissed him really fast on the cheek, the way you kiss that aunt you hate.  
Nathan objected. “Uh-uh. It doesn’t count unless you do it for ten seconds.” He was hoping like hell that Pickles wouldn’t contradict him. “Do it right.”  
Skwisgaar was holding still, waiting to see what would happen.   
Toki wanted to back out, but the rules said no. To kiss Skwisgaar again, after all these months...  
He could do it. It was only ten seconds, he wouldn’t let it get to him.  
That was the plan anyway.

But that’s not what happened.  
As soon as their mouths met, it was like falling.   
Skwisgaar held still as Toki kissed him, not wanting to do anything to possibly scare him off. But he kissed back with all the passion he had.  
Nathan and Pickles watched in silence, they could almost feel the tension in the air.  
Ten seconds came and went, unnoticed.

Quietly, Nathan climbed out and pulled Pickles with him, dragging him into the other room. He closed the door, but left it unlocked.  
Pickles was looking at him questioningly. “What tha hell?”  
“We’re staying in this room. We’re leaving them alone. Charles uh, asked me to fix it, and this was all I could think of.”  
“Yer fuckin’ brilliant. Hey, we gat booze in here too!”  
They also had dry clothes, Nathan had furtively kicked his bag in there earlier.

****

In the other room, Toki finally broke the kiss. He’d all but melted against Skwisgaar.  
Skwisgaar was looking at him tenderly. “Toki? You ams okays?”  
He nodded, smiling. “Ja. Let’s go to beds?”  
That sounded like a plan, so they climbed out, peeling off their wet underwear and leaving it on the floor. After quickly drying off, they crawled into the bed. Compared to the hot tub, the room felt cold.  
All the more reason to snuggle.

At first they just clung to each other, it was impossible to get close enough.   
Skwisgaar could barely even breathe (Toki was squeezing him so hard), but he didn’t mind at all. He was squeezing right back.  
Then of course, hands and mouths started roaming  
They were falling right back into their old routine, it was almost like no time had passed. Well, other than the sheer intensity, that is.  
And then they would have sex.

Skwisgaar remembered what Nathan had told him, and was very tempted to just ignore it. But _nothing_ he’d tried had worked, and he suspected that Nathan had set this up... he’d probably better listen.  
Grabbing Toki’s wrists, he stopped his hands. “No. We ams not hasing de sexes tonights.”  
Toki whined a little at being stopped. “But you wants to! _I_ wants to!”  
Nathan had said not even if he wants to... Damn you, Nathan. “No. I needs to just holds you more, I misses you.”  
Toki squeezed him so hard he couldn’t breathe, then fortunately backed off a little.  
Wrapped up in each other, they slowly drifted off to sleep.

****

The next morning, Nathan and Pickles were standing at the foot of the bed, watching them sleep. They had to leave soon, but it was a shame to have to wake them up.  
“Dude, they’re jest so... _cute_.”  
“Yeah.” Nathan was speaking softly for a change. “That’s not metal, but yeah.” With a sigh, he kicked the end of the bed. “Hey! Wake up, we have to go.”  
Skwisgaar mumbled into Toki’s neck, flapping one hand ineffectually. “Goes away Nathans.”  
The bed was kicked again. “Get up.”  
Still grumbling, they obeyed.

Charles was waiting with the limo, as four very happy looking musicians came down and climbed in. Good, that should put all the rumors to rest.  
Once inside and out of sight, Skwisgaar and Toki went right back to clinging to each other. They had a lot of catching up to do.  
The others just grinned at them, it really was pretty cute.  
Charles gave Nathan a congratulatory pat on the shoulder, whatever he’d done had clearly worked.  
Maybe things would get back to normal now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter. More making up, and later, the required year finally is over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried for sweet in this part, and that’s just not my fucking nature at all. This was the best I could do, hopefully it’s good enough.  
> Also, it’s shorter because I finally just gave the fuck up. Sorry guys.

Safely back home, Toki and Skwisgaar quickly disappeared into Skwisgaar’s room.  
Charles instructed everybody to just leave then alone, hopefully they’d manage to talk it out without everything going all to hell again.  
Nathan wandered toward the hot tub, and Pickles followed. He’d gotten so used to hanging out with Toki, he needed the company.  
Murderface was already there. “You fagsch schtill married?”  
“Yeah. There’s still like, two months left.” Nathan got in the hot tub.  
Pickles located a bottle, then joined them.

“Two monthsch, huh? Then what, are you going to get divorced or juscht schtay married forever?”  
Pickles considered that. “Dude, it’s up to Toki. I’m never gonna git married fer real, so I don’t rally care either way.” He turned to Nathan. “How ‘bout you?”  
“Oh, I think I’m getting the divorce. Because I might actually meet a chick someday who isn’t a total bitch or, like, wants to rip my nuts off. Probably not, but I’m still doing it.”  
“Eh, I’ll prahb’ly git divorced too. Besides, I think they’re cheatin’ on us.”  
Even Murderface laughed at that one.

****

In Skwisgaar’s room, there wasn’t much talking going on.  
No they weren’t fucking, Skwisgaar was still trying to follow Nathan’s advice about that. He had no idea what the hell he was doing really. Mostly they were just holding each other, enjoying the closeness after such a long absence.  
Toki was clinging like he’d never let go again.  
Skwisgaar couldn’t help but smile, no one else had ever made him feel like this.

He noticed that Toki was getting a little twitchy. Well, he’d been doing a lot of drugs lately, and hadn’t taken anything since at least yesterday. “Toki? Does you needs to goes and gets someting?”  
“Noes, I’s not letting go of yous. Don’ts worry, I’s okay, I’s been being careful abouts it.”  
“Well dat’s good.”  
“I just didn’ts wants to feel, but rights now I wants to feel everything. I thought I’d losts you.”  
“Oh Toki...” He’d thought that too.

Skwisgaar hated to even bring this up, but he didn’t want to risk going through this ever again. “Toki, you has to tell me what you wants from me. I knows I messed up, and I don’t want to be doesing it again.”  
Toki thought about it. He knew what he wanted of course, but how to put it into words? “I wants... I wants to be special to yous, likes you are to me.”  
“You _ams_ special, how coulds you ever be tinking dat you ams not? When I was tinking dat I lost you forevers...” He couldn’t even finish that sentence, just pressed his face into Toki’s chest..

“Skwisgaar? I wants... to be the onlys one.”  
“De onlys one?” He sighed, not wanting to lie. “Toki, to be perfectlies honest, I can’ts promise dat.”  
To his surprise, Toki laughed. “Noes, I don’ts care abouts the goils or the old ladies, I know they mean nothings. You’s Skwisgaar, that’s just what you does. I meant wants to be the only _guy_ , the only person who gets to be insides of you.”  
“Oh okays, ja I can be doesing dat.” That sounded easy enough.  
Toki grinned. “Your ass is _mine_!”

****

The next day, Skwisgaar went looking for Nathan, and found him in his room. “Nathans, I ams needing to asks you someting.”  
“Uh, okay?” He was a little surprised to see him, assuming he’d still be hiding out with Toki.  
“Whens can we has de sexes?”  
“What?! Wait, I thought...?”  
Skwisgaar snorted. “Nots wit _you_ , dildos. You tells me not to be fucking Toki, and I hasn’t. But I reallies wants to, so when can I?”

“OH.” Nathan was relieved, but he’d decided he didn’t want to be mixed up in this anymore. “I don’t fucking know, Skwisgaar. You figure it out.”  
“But whats if I fucks it up?”  
“I. DON’T. KNOW.”  
“Fines! By de ways, you ands me? We ams not fucking anymores.”  
“Good, because... Yeah, good. Now go away, I can’t help you.”  
Skwisgaar left. Fine, he’d try to figure it out, he had no choice.

He hurried back to his room, but Toki was gone.  
Why? Very worried, Skwisgaar went looking for him, his room would be a good place to start.  
And he was there, sitting on his bed. "Toki, you scareds me. I tinks maybe you ams mads at me again.”  
Toki just shrugged.   
Skwisgaar went and sat beside him, holding him. “What ams wrong? Talks to me.”  
Instead of talking, Toki pushed him down and started kissing him again, shifting his weight on top of him.

“Toki wait.”  
“ _Whys_? I _wants_ you, why’s you keep stopping me?”  
He really didn’t want to wait anymore either, but he was still cautious. “I ams not wanting you to tink dat I jus wants de sexes.”  
“I believes you. Now cans we? Please, Skwisgaar?” He ground against him lightly.  
That wasn’t playing fair, fuck when did Toki learn to tease? Skwisgaar couldn’t help but respond, and gave in. “Ja okays, I ams wanting it too.”

They didn’t hurry, wanting to savor it. It had been so long...  
Clothing came off a piece at a time, mouths covering skin as it was exposed. Everything was too much, and yet not nearly enough.  
By the time Toki finally slid inside, everything else had ceased to exist for them, ceased to matter.  
To think that they’d almost lost this forever, this...  
This thing between them that they wouldn’t name, it was bigger than the world.

****  
Time passed, and things became pretty much normal again.   
It was clear that the guitarists had come to an understanding, all the tension of the past months was completely gone now.   
Nobody wanted to hear the details, but they were all happy for them even if they wouldn’t admit to it. And it helped a lot that they were acting like they used to, keeping it private.  
They seemed to understand that even if they had approval, nobody wanted to see that shit. And that was okay, they didn’t want to share it anyway.

****

Recording had started again, and Knubbler had reported that the new tracks were coming along well. There was no guarantee that Nathan wouldn’t delete them of course, but progress was being made.  
The year was finally up, the plan had been successful. There was no longer any danger of anyone getting deported, and they could all relax now.  
Charles, his new paperwork safely filed, called a band meeting.

They were regarding him with their typical lack of interest, but he was too used to it to care. “Well guys, it’s your anniversaries tomorrow. Would you like anything special? How about divorces, maybe you would like those?”  
They were looking at him blankly. Well, that’s what he got for rarely trying to joke. “Are you wanting to get divorces, or not? If you are, I need to get the proper paperwork ready.”  
No wonder they called him a robot... but how else to deal with them?

Nathan nodded. “Yeah, I want a divorce.”  
“Very well. Toki, Pickles? Would you like a divorce too?”  
“Ja I wants one. Sorry, Pickle.” He didn’t look sorry at all. Pickles just nodded his agreement.  
Skwisgaar looked offended. “Heys, why ams you not askings me?”  
“Fine. Skwisgaar, would you like a divorce too?” Really, was this necessary?  
“Ja.”  
“Okay then, I’ll get the necessary papers drawn up.

A few days later, there was a press conference, where Nathan announced that they’d all gotten divorced because they’d decided marriage wasn’t metal. Possibly brutal, but not metal.  
This caused the divorce rate worldwide to skyrocket practically overnight, but no one at all questioned Dethklok’s reasons.  
Back at Mordhaus, It was like somebody had hit reset and put everything back how it had been a little over a year ago.  
Things were just like they used to be, only better.  
And that was good.


End file.
